1 post tagged “rant fail customer-support”

So, if you're lucky enough to follow me on Twitter you'll see I've been knee deep in FAIL lately.

It started with me trying to upgrade my work computer to the latest version of Linux.

I've admired Linux from afar for years now, listened to the nerd-core rave about it.  I long ago promised myself that my next home PC would run it for sure.  That Windows XP was the first and last time I would ever give Microsoft any of my money.

Until the past few months that is, when I've had cause at work to dive in and start using it.

Let's just say all those Romantic notions have been well and truly quashed.  I'm a professional Code Monkey and I struggle to use the damn thing.  And this is with the far prettier, supposedly more user-friendly Kubuntu flavour of Linux. 

I mean, it's not like it's not free and functional, as promised.  It's mostly that when it fails, it fails HARD!  Making the BSoD look like a spilt ice-cream.  Seriously.  And the last thing you want when you're designing and debugging software, is to be debugging the very software you're using to create it.  Because that's just Fail upon Fail.  It's Fail all the way down.  What I've learnt is that it's free only in dollars, and expensive in your own time.

So, wait..  That's just the Linux experience so far.   I said I had problems upgrading.  You know what the problem was?  The fucking Upgrade button wouldn't appear!  Error at Step 1:  Immediate FAIL.  I mean WTF?! Right. 

I won't bore you any more with Linux upgrade talk - 'cause I'm so over it already; long story short, I managed to get a dodgy upgrade happening, that resulted in my programs hanging and window manager crashing.  Result, I nuked the damn thing and started over - spending the better part of three days getting it all set up again.

This experience largely fueled my rant recently on Grinding (see http://grinding.be/2008/05/06/bruce-sterling-to-designers-dont-make-me-think/ - because guess what?  Linux won't let me edit this as link!  anti-Win!).

I'm seriously aghast that people (read hard-core nerds) have been putting Linux forward as an easy replacement for Windows.  They say that because it's easy for them;  they're happy to spend hours tinkering with settings, reading log files, applying patches just to get Feature X working.  It's a badge of honour for them, it's how they like to do things.

I'm exageratting slightly, but seriously - do we expect every car driver to be a mechanic these days?  No.  Let's aim for something that Fails Gracefully, and just works for the majority of the time.  This is a key part of the open-source future I know we can all build.  And yes, I know there are probably more solid distributions of Linux floating around that do exactly that, and yes, that's something I'll definitely be looking into in the background.

But the story of Fail doesn't end there.  As if my Linux dramas aren't enough, I have to go ahead and try and get VOIP running over my ADSL connection, all to escape the clutches of the evil-ass, former Monolopist telco, and save about $100 a month.  

Step 1 of this involved going without the internet for what felt like forever, but was only two weeks, while my connection was changed over to a new exchange, blah blah.  A Trail of patience basically.

Step 2 involved me forgetting to, then finally ordering the VOIP unit from my ISP to run the land-line.  It arrives late Friday afternoon, and the wife, having been sans landline for some time, politely requests that I hook the damn thing up so she make some calls.

Step2a - plug the thing in.  Step2b - run the sofware and configure it as instructed.  Step2c - Stare at the damn thing wondering why-the-fuck it's not working.  Step2d - Do all the extra things it says to be sure (port-forwarding, etc) .  Step2e - Turn to Google, adamant that this is a solveable problem.  Step2f - Admit defeat  ((side note of Fail - I was writing this at work, and hit the Save button on this here Vox, thinking I could finish the post when I got home, but NO, Save=Publish for Vox, 'cause they have to oversimplify everything, instead of having two seperate buttons)) and call Support.

Thus begins the FAIL of modern-day Customer Support.  The specific reason I'm with this particular ISP is that they're support has always been awesome.  Ring them and 99 times out of 100 you get a highly clueful person on the phone, that can guide you through the solution to your problem or give you the information you seek.  For this very reason I always recommend my ISP to people.  This may now change.

I call Support.  "Hi", I say, "I'm trying to setup the VOIP device I bought from you" (rather than look around for something cheaper, I figured, hey VOIP can be tricky, I might need some help with it ((indeed!)).

"Oh", says Mr ISP Support, "we support everything but THAT.  You have internet, yes? Well, you'll have to call the Vendor.  Tomorrow, after 9am".

Sigh.  I'm clearly and idiot; why would I expect them to support connecting the thing they sold me over the service they sell to me?  And it's now sometime after 9:30PM.  The other great thing about the ISP was that they have 24/7 support.  OK, I'm really annoyed.  So of course I'm at the computer until nearly 1am looking for solutions.  I'm about to start flashing my router with new firmware, when commonsense kicks in.  Hey, I don't want to backwards and lose Internet access, on top of having no landline.

Come the morning, I call the support number they give me.  Now, all these calls are on my mobile mind you.  I ring, and get transfered to what is clearly a support-center in India.  I get started with the first support-person and then disconnected.  Yes, Fail on having a basic call.  Determined, I call back.  Start again with new support-person, and kindly ask that they call me back on my mobile, since I've already spent enough on mobile-rate calls trying to get some damn help.  Put on hold for several minutes, I'm told "No, they can't do that".  I continue, explain my problem and told, "Oh, we don't support that!  Call this number other support centre for the same vendor.  Oh, and they're only open weekdays!"  Excellent! Not!!!

I'm furious by this point, and barely contain myself from screaming at this poor soul.  "I just want it to work ok.  Make it work".  End phone call, and I almost start crying, like a cast-member from Battlestar Galactica.

Good damn I think, this is the run-around I get, and I have a damn clue.  How the hell does Joe Public get anything vaguely high-tech done these days?  And since when did this treatment come to be acceptable as Customer Support?!  It's more like torture.

Now, you're hooked now, aren't you.  Dying to know what happened with the call to a third support centre.  Will m1k3y ever get his VOIP going?  Or will his wife murder him with the handset that's only useful as a bludgeon?

Well, this is the full-disclosure, embarrassing part of the post.  You see, I failed too. :(

Somewhere between steps 2a and 2f I'd actually got the damn thing working.  Because four hours after the second support call, the landline rang!

Yes, I'd been so focused on fixing what I thought was still broken (mostly because the dial-tone changed to this horrible, sickly thing) - I'D NEVER THOUGHT TO CALL OUT ON DAMN THING. 

So, the tale ends with Epic Fail on my own behalf.  And I end up furious at myself, because I'd never needed to experience the Hell of what they call Support myself.

But, I console myself in the following way - if I hadn't experienced it, I wouldn't know what some many, many people have to endure.  None of this is good enough!  Devices and software should just work; and when they don't, we should get the expert help we need to make them do so.  Or why the fuck are we giving these people our money to begin with?!